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Nov. 30th, 2011

“To use our individual good or bad luck as a litmus test to determine whether or not God exists constructs an illogical dichotomy that reduces our capacity for true compassion. It implies a pious quid pro quo that defies history, reality, ethics, and reason. It fails to acknowledge that the other half of rising—the very half that makes rising necessary—is having first been nailed to the cross.”

Found this on a random webpage today. I need somewhere to put it so I can come back and think about it more.

Nov. 6th, 2011

I have a 2 year old now! Where has the time gone?
Certainly not to updating my journal. Sorry journal and friends. I am still reading, I am just awful at updating.

Mar. 21st, 2011

Harland is 18 months old today! Holy crap!

He started saying "I love you" yesterday. Its not 100% clear, but I am not the only one who understands it. He said it first to my Grandma, then to his Grandparents, aunt and uncle, and cousins. It is by far the cutest thing ever.

Today he celebrated his half birthday by figuring out how to open the refrigerator. Im in trouble now, I will be finding the ranch dressing and ketchup bottles everywhere!

Life is good.

Mar. 6th, 2011

Lets play a game called "Things I couldnt possibly care less about"

1- baseball - I like going to PNC park for a fun day, I could not ever tell you what is happening in the game, or who they are even playing. boooring.

2- Charlie Sheen - He is clearly off of his rocker. Not only is it already totally overly done and irritating, but I dont find mental illness all that funny.

3- Dancing with the Stars - Nope, Heinz Ward being on it doesn't make me want to watch. I still dont care.

4- Jersey Shore- yeah, no.

5- What you did when you had kids/what you heard you should do with kids/what you think youll do when you have kids - seriously, unless I ask your opinion I dont care. Ill raise my child the way I like to, and thats that. This goes for my own parents, too. Ok, mostly for them.

I think thats it.

I went out and partied like a teenager last night. Ran into a whole lot of people I havent seen in 5+ years and 12 years in one case. I didnt drink too much, but we did stay out until 5am. So fun to get out and be irresponsible for a night. I sort of forgot how nice sitting around a table with a pitcher of beer and some good friends can be.

Im going to try to update more. It will probably be disorganized and disjointed just like this, but whatever.

Feb. 14th, 2011

Im bad at livejournaling. Sorry, friends list.

Everything is great, so I dont update as much. If you want to keep up with whats going on, twitter and facebook are your best bet. let me know if you need links :)


Obligatory Update

I kind of cant believe how quickly time is just flying right on by.

Harland is 9 months old already. It seems like just yesterday Chris and I were standing in the kitchen freaking out of (in a good way!) over the fact that I was pretty sure I was pregnant. He is such an amazing little guy. 20lbs, 29inches long, and a 19 inch head. He has 2 teeth completely grown in, with numbers 3, 4, and 5 already poking through his gums. He can clap, sort of give kisses, hides himself with any piece of fabric you give him to play peek a boo, and cruising around like a maniac. Hes even able to stand by himself for a few seconds. You can tell he wants to walk, and I think it is coming soon. I am sooo not prepared for that!
I honestly never saw myself being a mother, but here I am a co-sleeping, baby wearing, breast feeding mama and loving every single second of it.

Work is still work. It still pays the bills, and it still makes me crazy sometimes. Ive got a really sweet deal going on though so I cant complain. Its also allowing us to move back to Pittsburgh, so I really cant complain about that.

Were in the process of selling Agnes the Mustang, and I am really sad about that. She deserves to be well loved by whoever owns her though, and we just cant take her out driving with the baby, so its for the best.

Ive been thinking a lot about my mom lately. I swing between being really sad and really angry. I am sad that she isnt here to see her grandson. That shes not around to cuddle him, and that shes not around to tell me what I was like when I was a baby. I get really angry that she was so stupid and selfish, and that the reason shes not here is her fault. Even if it was an accident, which Im not convinced it was, it was still drugs that she CHOSE to take. Then I get sad again, because if it wasnt an accident she must have been so sad and confused, and I </strike>didn't</strike> couldnt help. It is what it is, I guess. Its been 5 years. My memories of her are fuzzy, and that makes me sad too. I could probably go on for a whole 'nother entry about all of this.

Over all though, things are so great. Well be back in Pittsburgh near our families soon, were all healthy, I have the best husband ever, and Harland is just so super amazingly adorable. I couldn't really ask for more.

penis talk

Im not sure anyone will really care to read this, but ive got to get it out somewhere. If you do read it, please dont start a fight with me. I dont really care what your personal choices are because they are just that, personal. This is my personal journal so Im going to write about it here.

Until we found out we were having a boy I really hadn't thought much about circumcision. It was just something that was routinely done, so it cant be *that* bad, right? I asked Chris what he thought and was surprised to be met with a very firm "no way!" and a rant about how he thinks its total bs that someone that was not him made the decision to remove an important part of his body. Fair enough, our decision was made. I understood where he was coming from, and I agreed with saying no because there really wasnt any good reason to do it in my mind.

Imagine my great surprise when not only did people ask about it, but argued with me about our decision. "its dirty" "it will look weird" "hell get made fun of" "itll give him stds" Even one of the drs in my OB practice gave me shit when I said we were not cutting off a piece of our sons body when he has no say over it, especially when it is completely unnecessary and when the best argument people can come up with is "it will look funny." I dont consider the talk about STDs, cancer, or HIV because they have been debunked a million times, and honestly I planned on teaching my son proper hygiene and condom use no matter whether he had his foreskin or not.

I was also really surprised how many times I had to tell the hospital staff that "NO" you cant take him away to circumcise him, we werent doing that. They put a little band on his foot that said "do no circumcise" which he kicked off about 8 times a day. Luckily for us, and him, I kept him in my room the entire time, so I was always there to say no. Why is it that they put a band on there saying not to do surgery? Shouldnt they default at no and put a band on if they want the surgery? Wouldnt it be better to accidentally not cut a part off that someone wanted gone than to mistakenly cut off a part of someone's body that they wanted to keep?

There was a lot of pressure. It was sad. Now that we are home, taking care of a baby with a foreskin has been absolutely no different than I remember taking care of any other baby whos diaper I had changed.

So of course now that Im a mom and I have a lj, Im part of a bunch of parenting communities. This has led to reading a bunch of debate over routine circumcision. Somehow I stumbled on this site, and I just watched the video -

The site itself is just the same basic arguments and their debunkments, but still informative. The video I was holding the baby while I watched the surgery performed, and I cried, and I gave him a big hug. I had to stop it halfway through the surgery part so that I could go throw up. Gore doesn't bother me. Listening to the terrified screams of an infant in pain who is strapped down on a board and being operated on with very little to no anesthetic definitely did.

Why oh why is this routinely done, and why oh why do people have little to no idea how bad it really is? I honestly had no idea that they strap the poor little guys down, and I honestly had no idea that they had to go in and scrape off pieces. Ugh, just thinking about it makes me want to puke again.

This has very firmly moved me from the "meh" camp to the very anti camp. I wish everyone had to watch a video of it being done before they decided for their little boys, that way at least everyone would be making an informed decision.

I think I have more to say, and definitely need to edit for grammar, but my peanut just woke up and I need to hug him again.

7 Random Things

I was tagged by fsk8ing_judge so here it is - My 7 habits/quirks/facts about myself.

1. I hate butter.  It smells bad, it tastes bad, and it coats my mouth and makes me gag.  If I am eating something that was cooked in, or served with, butter such as red potatoes or pierogies I will dry them off with a napkin before I can eat them.  It is the one thing I really cant take eating even if its sort of socially unacceptable to refuse, such as at a dinner made by someone else, because if I eat something covered in butter the chances of me puking are high.

2. I am super anti-drugs, but I dont really consider pot a drug.  Of course its a drug, but Im willing to ignore its use unlike any other drug.

3. My mom was a drug addict my entire life.  It led to my parents divorce, my incredibly awful and awkard relationship to my mother, and it took her life 5 years ago.  This is part of why I am completely anti-drugs. I have seen the destruction it can cause in people's lives, and I really cant understand how someone can risk everything that should be important to them in life for a few hours of being high.

4. I am fairly easy going about prettty much everything, but sometimes really odd things get me really fired up. I dont really know how to explain it, but big things that should upset me often times wont, but if someone makes a wrong turn or something I sometimes end up seething mad.  Im lucky to have people in my life that deal with me, even when I get crazy mad over really really stupid things.

5. I am terrified of the phone.  Even the thought of calling my grandma makes me a nervous wreck.  I will generally avoid calling people at all costs.  I force myself to do it for work, but if theres a way for me to email instead I will.

6. If something sort of embarassing happens to me there is a pretty good chance that I will end up replaying it in my head over and over and over again for the rest of my life.  Seriously, there are situations from kindergarden that I still replay in my head and kick myself for being so awkward during.  

7. I really never wanted kids until Chris mentioned it to me on the first day of our honeymoon.  Even on our wedding day when people asked about kids my response was NO WAY, but the first day of our honeymoon while we were sitting in the pool Chris mentioned how he wouldnt mind having a kid soon and I was all in.  I went inside and threw away my birth control figuring wed just let nature take its course.  5 months later I found out I was pregnant and was actually sort of surprised to find myself very excited about it.  It was a good thing, too, because my Peanut is amazing.

A- List 7 habits/quirks/facts
B- Tag 7 people to do the same
C- Don't tag the person who tagged you, or tag "Whoever wants to do it"

Actually, that last part about tagging friends is a lie.  I dont have enough active LJ friends that havent already been tagged to tag 7 people, so if you read this and want to do it go for it.  Sorry, rule C!


Were supposed to get between 20 and 28 inches of snow this weekend. The bulk of it is supposed to come between midnight and 8 pm tomorrow.

The thought of this was fun at first, until I realized that the area will probably be a total mess and absolute pain in the butt to drive in for at least the week because MD has no idea what to do with that much snow. They love to plow only half of various lanes without really marking merges caused by snow, and they really really love to just plow it all into a driving lane. This wouldnt be so bad if they, you know, put at warning up about the fact that a lane is ending in a giant mountain of snow, but they rarely do. It will be a fun few days.

Oh yeah, and our power is already flickering. I will be a really sad panda if I have to go through at least a day or two of below freezing weather without heat with a 4 month old. Ive already got my snuggies, flashlights, and every extra blanket we have ready to go. I also have the peanut's fleece jammies and wearable blanket ready to go in case its needed. Heres to hoping the power holds up or that it at least goes out while we awake so we dont wake up half frozen!

Oct. 6th, 2009

Sorry Ive been a terrible livejournal/facebook/irl friend lately everyone. I have been reading, I just generally dont have the time or the hands to comment.

This little guy is why I never have time anymore.Collapse )

I cant believe its been over 2 weeks. I also cant believe how absolutely smitten I am. I dont like to put him down ever. Being a mama is awesome.



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